So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Randomize
