You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
