Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i may or may not be watching the land before time
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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