I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
