Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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