We won't sleep together?
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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