I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Come see our sink grown plant.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
