Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
