I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
