How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
