yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
