is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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