"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Someone came in the potted fern
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
