3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
