If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You were trust falling into bushes
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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