So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
