Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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