it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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