i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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