I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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