I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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