She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
