I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
