The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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