Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
