There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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