I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize