I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
