ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize