And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
did you just send me my own nude
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize
