Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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