Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My cat gives me a boner
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
