I hate your face
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
