Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
