Kiss
Puke
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
