Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
