Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
