Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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