You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
