so let's talk penis.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
