I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
