Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
That reminds me...we need to get swords
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
