I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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