dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize