your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Im part way to drunk.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
