Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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