it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
