Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
