i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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