seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
