i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
