His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
