pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
