Well apparently he's into motor boating.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize
