I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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