Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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