Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
