Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
