I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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