Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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