Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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