making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
