just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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