So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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