Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
