You smell like stripper and shame
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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