I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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