So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
