Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
